Overdomesticated? Probably. But I'm reconnecting with nature.
“You’ve become overdomesticated, but you’ll come right.”
This is what our neighbour said to us about a year ago when we first moved into our off-the-grid tiny home.
Thinking back of that time we were certainly struggling with a few aspects of our new life. If I remember correctly, I believe the action that sparked this comment was that we had bought firewood, instead of sourcing our own in the vast forest surrounding us. To be fair, winter was approaching fast and we hadn't exactly spent our summer posing as lumberjacks.
It’s safe to say that our transition from ‘townies’ to ‘off-gridders’ had its ups and downs.
Those first weeks in our new life were spent figuring out how our solar power setup translated into our ability to do things during the day. It took us all of one hour to blow the fuses of our first inverter. Turns out you can’t really run power tools off a very limited solar power system. We were living life like we had an industrial generator when actually, our setup was more reminiscent of a time when Thomas Edison was still alive. Our days were full of trial and error.
After that little mishap, the balance tipped the other way and we became scared to even turn the lights on. So there I was, spending my first evenings in the dark by the fireplace without internet. The whole thing was very romantic and definitely a shock to the system.
I hadn’t forgotten about that “overdomesticated” comment. I felt a little annoyed at first. I mean, doesn't he know I've gone camping more than once, slept in a tent and everything. But if I was honest with myself, it started to ring at least a little bit true.
Had I lost my natural instincts? Had I lost my ability to survive in the wild? Had I lost my natural capacity?
In all honesty, I probably have the survival instinct of your average native New Zealand bird. You know, the ones that can’t even fly.
Life before was so comfortable. I’m not saying it was easy, life never is, - but we had all the comforts of modern life: ordering food through UberEATS with a few clicks of a button, turning on the heat pump with one click, technology taking care of our every need - even reminding me of my own wedding anniversary.
While nothing can ever take away the inherent ups and downs of life, our city life took care of our basic needs. Warmth, comfort, survival, safety. They weren't really things I had to think about.
Living this way is different.
As Thoreau wrote in his essay Walking: “Living much out of doors, in the sun and wind, will no doubt produce a certain roughness of character.”
Don’t get me wrong. We haven’t exactly ditched every single convenience. I wouldn’t dare to pretend we live in any way ‘like our ancestors did’. I don’t think Wi-Fi was invented thousands of years ago. Nor do I pretend it is in any way necessary to retreat to a cave and hunt for mammoths - although in New Zealand, I guess I’d be eating kiwis (the bird, not the fruit - as a bird lover, that sentence hurts to write).
What this lifestyle is asking of me is to step outside of my comfort zone. I’m learning that it’s ok to be cold sometimes, to be a little tired, to not have everything readily available, to have to plan ahead. Things will turn out ok. Our current conditions are at least somewhat harsher than before and I’m happier for it.
During the day, I’m in this high-speed mode where I’m juggling meetings, deadlines and emails that seem to multiply every second. But when I come home, the pace shifts. Life and my focus narrow down to just the essentials: staying warm, staying fed, and staying grounded. There is no need to rush. In fact, I’ve learnt that rushing usually makes things worse. Patience and taking it slow work much better here.
We’ve learnt so many skills, such as lighting a fire, growing food and literally building shelter. We're living more seasonally and in line with the weather. It’s this part of the lifestyle that invites me to reconnect with a more natural way of life.
This is also the part that's still a work in progress for me.
I struggle sometimes. I'm not pretending for one second that I have this figured out.
Full disclosure: last weekend, I had planned to do a painting job which had to be done outside. It was raining, so I couldn't do it, and I was complaining about it until my husband pointed out, “Aren't you all about seasonal living and being in line with the elements?”. Touché, hubby, touché.
He pointed out that living this way means that sometimes we won't be able to do things because the weather doesn't allow it, and that in those moments, we should take it slow and go to the movies so we can watch the latest Alien movie, just like our ancestors would have done.
There is still so much to learn. And so much to unlearn.
It's another example of how living a slower life becomes easier once you work with nature rather than against it. Once you follow the natural rhythm of life, everything becomes effortless. When winter slows life and nature down, maybe that’s a cue for us to slow down, too, instead of fighting the season and wondering why we’re all so tired.
I’m noticing it now, the days are slowly getting longer, minute by minute. The birds are coming out and are singing their songs in full force. The kingfishers have returned! And each day, I can find my own energy increasing just a little as well.
Nature moves at its own pace, and we should move with it rather than against it.
Something that inspired me this week
Probably my favourite YouTuber of all time. His videos are literal works of art.
In this video he talks about that little voice in your head when you’re doing nothing and you think “you should be working.” That voice that keeps second guessing yourself. With this video comes a cool little gadget, the permissionbot. An AI app in which you can input anything you’re thinking of doing and the lovely bot will come up with a whole bunch of reasons why you should just do the thing! There’s a cool print out too, check out the video to get the link.
This is what you can expect from me every week! A long-form article related to a reflection or life lesson on personal growth and one thing that inspired me this week. If you liked this, don’t keep it to yourself; share it with your friends:
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You can’t un-domesticate all at once!
I’m imagining our ancestors and their horror and shock at watching the new Aliens movie. Nightmares for them for life.
On buying firewood. You have to weigh the pros and cons of doing the work to get it. We have a wood stove here in Canada, and our winter is probably longer and colder than yours. To gather the seven cords of wood I would need for winter is weeks of hard work. So we buy it.
So are you working in an office during the day and living off grid by night? Wondering because you mentioned emails and things during the day. That would be wild a swing! I imagine it would make you look at your work differently. So interesting to read about all the little shifts happening as you recalibrate to a different, more natural way of life.