How I Stopped Worrying and Started Resting

Somewhere along the way, I started believing that I could – and should – do it all. I believed I had to be Superwoman, the one who knows and does everything. I believed I had to balance the career, the gym routine, the family, the clean house, and the social life.

In May of last year my body kindly, but firmly, gave me a wake-up call. At the time, I was juggling way too many responsibilities. Both personal and work life had become overwhelming. What I do when life gets like that is find an outlet. You see, I love the gym. It’s my happy place, my escape. So when life was throwing me one too many curve balls, that’s where I went. That quiet hour before work just listening to a good podcast or audiobook and getting into my exercise, sets me up for a great day. And that's a perfectly healthy habit. Where it becomes a problem is when you're doing it every day, push yourself too hard and ignore when your body tells you that you need to rest.

So when I first felt that little twinge of pain in my arm, I did what any good overachiever would do – I ignored it and worked a little harder. Because who has time for pain when you’re busy being a superhero?

Well, pain has this funny way of getting louder when you ignore it. It didn’t take long for my elbow to stop asking for attention, but instead to start demanding it. It wasn’t content with just hurting my arm and invited my shoulder along for the ride, just to make sure I really got the message: “Slow down.”

I did not get the message. I did not slow down.

The diagnosis: cubital tunnel syndrome and osteoarthritis of the AC joint. It took an entire year from diagnosis to finally getting the surgery that was needed to fix the elbow. After that the shoulder pain cleared up as well.

I’ve learnt a lot over the past year dealing with this injury. Resting was like a foreign language to me.

Every day, I fought this little voice in my head telling me, “You could be doing something right now. Don’t just sit there. Clean something, sort something, fix something.”

Why? Because I’ve got this internal belief that every day, we have to be productive, and we can’t possibly rest.

When I finally started to ask myself what would really happen if I did rest, the answers were surprisingly simple. Turns out, if the house isn’t spotless, nothing happens at all.

I also learnt that if you ask for help, people actually help you. You just have to ask. I know, an entirely crazy new concept for me!

So here’s what I’m learning (and it’s still a work in progress):

• It’s ok to ask for help.

• It’s ok if the house looks like a hurricane passed through (for a bit).

• It’s ok to put the laundry off for another day.

• It’s ok to say no.

• It’s ok to rest.

• It’s ok to feel tired.

• It's ok, all of it, really.

The pressure I’ve been putting on myself to be this all-knowing, powerful, always-on magical creature? It only comes from me. No one else expects me to do everything all at once.

For some of you, this might be obvious. But for me, it hasn’t been obvious for a long time, and it took quite a bit of learning before I finally understood: time rested is not time wasted.

---

Something that inspired me this week

I came across this on a Reddit thread about people with wanderlust and people who are living lives that aren’t necessarily ‘the norm’. The person who started the post asked something along the lines of “What is wrong with me?” I just absolutely loved this reply because it gave such a different and empowering viewpoint. Thanks, random internet stranger:

Has it occurred to you that there might be something right with them? That their “inability” to settle down might instead be a constant drive to improve things? It seems to me that the world needs many types of people. It needs people willing to put their nose to the grindstone and work hard. It also needs geniuses whose minds flit about from one thing to another, constantly inputting potential improvements to a range of human endeavours. It needs people who want to marry and create a stable home to raise healthy children. It also requires people who are willing to sacrifice that opportunity to live adventurous lives and discover new things.

---

This is what you can expect from me every week! A long-form article related to a reflection or life lesson on personal growth and one thing that inspired me this week. If you liked this, don’t keep it to yourself; share it with your friends:

---

There is now also a paid option for This Is Sophie Today. None of my articles will be paywalled, however this is a reader-supported publication and with just $5/month you will be supporting me to keep this going.

---