I wish I had taken a less hard approach to doing hard things earlier in my life. (does that sound like a weird contradiction? it kinda is). What I mean is that in my 30s, I think I might have overdone the concept of doing hard things. I did HARD yoga, every single day. Hot yoga. pushing my body to the limits in heat and stretch and strength. I ate raw. I meditated for extended periods. I exposed myself to a whole bunch of hard things. especially a very hard marriage. I spent a whole decade of my life going really hard.
And you're right. it was a huge investment in my future resilience. I'm damn proud of myself for going hard, doing hard, and proving to myself that I could not only survive, but somehow thrive.
And now, I've found a middle path. I still challenge myself to do hard things occasionally, and in smaller doses, little hard things. But I don't make myself be hard through it all. Maybe it's cuz I'm over the mid-life hump at over 50 now, I want to try easy more often. Perhaps the result of doing hard in my 30s has given me the ability to go easy on myself and my process now.
Thanks for that message of balance Teri! You are so right, we should embrace discomfort and do hard things, but definitely shouldn't go overboard with that. Life is about balance, absolutely!
This is exactly the principle I like to live by everyday and your post is a great reminder for me to push myself just a little bit more every day.
We need to do hard things to know that we CAN do hard things. We need to train ourselves through voluntary suffering, ao that we are better equipped to deal with the involuntary and inevitable suffering that lofe throws our way.
Hey Sophie, I totally resonate with this! As a writer, writing taught me that discomfort is the only way you can grow. And I sort of applied that mindset to everything I do in life whether it’s working out or something else. Sometimes it’s hard for me when I plateau. It’s easy to get comfortable and ride the wave of the past work you did to get uncomfortable. But it’s crucial to get uncomfortable again and remind ourselves that we have the power to change our fate and grow as people. Idk about taking cold showers lol, but I’ve started lifting weights and I’m going to push myself to get stronger and stop being so afraid of going on the stair master haha! Thank you so much for sharing this! Your newsletter is awesome by the way! Just subscribed! :)
All the learning happens outside our comfort zone, but it takes a lot to keep pushing ourselves! Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you're liking my newsletter ☺️
"When you consistently do hard things, all the other stuff seems relatively easy." Love this. It's so amazing that you have chosen the off grid lifestyle when majority of the world is rushing towards finding ways to be more comfortable, but in the pursuit perhaps we're losing the true essence of life. The truth is when the world inside you is peaceful, the world outside doesn't affect you this much. This I have noticed because India is crazy hot right now, and if someday I'm struggling mentally, I curse the heat more than on other days. But it's a cue that, I need to focus more on myself.
That's a really lovely way of saying it: " the world inside you needs to be peaceful" and it's so true. When the days in India feel too hot, just think of me in the freezing cold lol - the grass is always greener elsewhere 😉
I know right...! When I find myself cribbing about the heat, I try to acknowledge my privilege....I do not have to go outside or work outside in heat...There is air conditioning and so on. I'm gradually learning to not fret about the unnecessary stuff 🙂
When I find myself in uncomfortable situations or grappling with negative thoughts, I try to remind myself that I've navigated similar feelings in the past.
Even though it feels really uncomfortable right now, I know it's temporary.
This mindset helps me endure through tough times, knowing that something better awaits around the corner.
Your article brings to mind my favorite quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: 'Do one thing every day that scares you.'
I commend you for doing a 180 on your life. I would love to hear more about what led to it!
I loved this, Sophie! You also made me giggle with your ‘that’s one way to choose intentional discomfort’, it’s pretty radical indeed. So many little nuggets in here: embracing discomfort when it arrives AND seeking it out. The first one I’ve been trying to do with regard to my burnout and long Covid recovery, the latter is something that only now I’m starting to have enough energy for. Something I’ve recently started doing is practising with calling my friends — I know I love talking to them, but for some reason the act of ringing them up I find hard. Looking forward to reading more of your posts 🧡
that's such a great example re calling your friends. And you're so right too, when you're in a period of burnout or long covid like yourself, it's about being kind to yourself as well and not pushing yourself beyond what you're capable of in that moment. It's one thing to embrace fear and seek out discomfort, but we have to be kind to ourselves as well!
Love this. Winter ocean swimming does this for me. Also rucking with a heavy pack. Your lifestyle sounds tough but rewarding. Have you read Michael Easters " The Comfort Crisis" I think you'd very much enjoy it.
Oh I love rucking - haven't done it in a while though because I hurt my shoulder. That's healed now so I'm looking forward to getting back into things.
I've heard of the book but haven't read it yet - I'll add it to my ever growing to-read list 😁
Oh love this! Great read and totally agree - I am often at my most anxious when life is too comfortable. It gives more time to overthink. I've been living a bit uncomfortably the last few months than what I'm used too and it's defiantly made me do some things that I normally be too anxious to do before.
I did a hard thing today and made my first Substack post. I've been meaning to post but was aiming for perfection as it seems other writers are just so eloquent and refined, however, I trust I will find my stride in time. Beautiful post.
Do Hard Things.
I wish I had taken a less hard approach to doing hard things earlier in my life. (does that sound like a weird contradiction? it kinda is). What I mean is that in my 30s, I think I might have overdone the concept of doing hard things. I did HARD yoga, every single day. Hot yoga. pushing my body to the limits in heat and stretch and strength. I ate raw. I meditated for extended periods. I exposed myself to a whole bunch of hard things. especially a very hard marriage. I spent a whole decade of my life going really hard.
And you're right. it was a huge investment in my future resilience. I'm damn proud of myself for going hard, doing hard, and proving to myself that I could not only survive, but somehow thrive.
And now, I've found a middle path. I still challenge myself to do hard things occasionally, and in smaller doses, little hard things. But I don't make myself be hard through it all. Maybe it's cuz I'm over the mid-life hump at over 50 now, I want to try easy more often. Perhaps the result of doing hard in my 30s has given me the ability to go easy on myself and my process now.
Thanks for that message of balance Teri! You are so right, we should embrace discomfort and do hard things, but definitely shouldn't go overboard with that. Life is about balance, absolutely!
This is exactly the principle I like to live by everyday and your post is a great reminder for me to push myself just a little bit more every day.
We need to do hard things to know that we CAN do hard things. We need to train ourselves through voluntary suffering, ao that we are better equipped to deal with the involuntary and inevitable suffering that lofe throws our way.
That's a meaningful life in my opinion.
Just like how we train our bodies, our minds need training too so we become more resilient :-)
Absolutely
Hey Sophie, I totally resonate with this! As a writer, writing taught me that discomfort is the only way you can grow. And I sort of applied that mindset to everything I do in life whether it’s working out or something else. Sometimes it’s hard for me when I plateau. It’s easy to get comfortable and ride the wave of the past work you did to get uncomfortable. But it’s crucial to get uncomfortable again and remind ourselves that we have the power to change our fate and grow as people. Idk about taking cold showers lol, but I’ve started lifting weights and I’m going to push myself to get stronger and stop being so afraid of going on the stair master haha! Thank you so much for sharing this! Your newsletter is awesome by the way! Just subscribed! :)
All the learning happens outside our comfort zone, but it takes a lot to keep pushing ourselves! Thank you for the kind words, I'm glad you're liking my newsletter ☺️
You’re very welcome Sophie! Keep up the great work! :)
"When you consistently do hard things, all the other stuff seems relatively easy." Love this. It's so amazing that you have chosen the off grid lifestyle when majority of the world is rushing towards finding ways to be more comfortable, but in the pursuit perhaps we're losing the true essence of life. The truth is when the world inside you is peaceful, the world outside doesn't affect you this much. This I have noticed because India is crazy hot right now, and if someday I'm struggling mentally, I curse the heat more than on other days. But it's a cue that, I need to focus more on myself.
Wonderful read!
That's a really lovely way of saying it: " the world inside you needs to be peaceful" and it's so true. When the days in India feel too hot, just think of me in the freezing cold lol - the grass is always greener elsewhere 😉
I know right...! When I find myself cribbing about the heat, I try to acknowledge my privilege....I do not have to go outside or work outside in heat...There is air conditioning and so on. I'm gradually learning to not fret about the unnecessary stuff 🙂
Yeah, getting worked up about something you can't change just isn't worth the energy 😊
When I find myself in uncomfortable situations or grappling with negative thoughts, I try to remind myself that I've navigated similar feelings in the past.
Even though it feels really uncomfortable right now, I know it's temporary.
This mindset helps me endure through tough times, knowing that something better awaits around the corner.
Your article brings to mind my favorite quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: 'Do one thing every day that scares you.'
I commend you for doing a 180 on your life. I would love to hear more about what led to it!
Lovely quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, and yes it helps reminding ourselves that everything is temporary, everything changes!
I loved this, Sophie! You also made me giggle with your ‘that’s one way to choose intentional discomfort’, it’s pretty radical indeed. So many little nuggets in here: embracing discomfort when it arrives AND seeking it out. The first one I’ve been trying to do with regard to my burnout and long Covid recovery, the latter is something that only now I’m starting to have enough energy for. Something I’ve recently started doing is practising with calling my friends — I know I love talking to them, but for some reason the act of ringing them up I find hard. Looking forward to reading more of your posts 🧡
that's such a great example re calling your friends. And you're so right too, when you're in a period of burnout or long covid like yourself, it's about being kind to yourself as well and not pushing yourself beyond what you're capable of in that moment. It's one thing to embrace fear and seek out discomfort, but we have to be kind to ourselves as well!
Love this. Winter ocean swimming does this for me. Also rucking with a heavy pack. Your lifestyle sounds tough but rewarding. Have you read Michael Easters " The Comfort Crisis" I think you'd very much enjoy it.
Oh I love rucking - haven't done it in a while though because I hurt my shoulder. That's healed now so I'm looking forward to getting back into things.
I've heard of the book but haven't read it yet - I'll add it to my ever growing to-read list 😁
Oh love this! Great read and totally agree - I am often at my most anxious when life is too comfortable. It gives more time to overthink. I've been living a bit uncomfortably the last few months than what I'm used too and it's defiantly made me do some things that I normally be too anxious to do before.
Very interesting, it does really show that a tiny bit of healthy discomfort has the ability to push us outside of our comfortzone 😊
I did a hard thing today and made my first Substack post. I've been meaning to post but was aiming for perfection as it seems other writers are just so eloquent and refined, however, I trust I will find my stride in time. Beautiful post.
Good on you! Publishing your first post is definitely a hard thing. I can't say it has become easy already for me :-)